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Treading the minefield A straightforward guide to raising black sons to manhood Archived article from Dec 8, 2000 By Douglas Frank
As parents, Nancy Boyd-Franklin and A. J. Franklin admit that "our greatest fear for our sons is basic survival." So, as psychologists and family therapists, they have written a book to help other African-American parents and their children get through what they call the "minefield" of the teen-age years. "We call it a minefield because the challenge as black parents is to get our sons through this period in life without a mine, such as drugs, alcohol, violence, gangs or school failure, blowing up in their faces," they write. The book, "Boys Into Men: Raising Our African American Teenage Sons" (Dutton), published in May, is intended as a survival guide for parents, teachers, ministers, psychologists, social workers and other counselors to help them cope with what the authors regard as "one of the greatest challenges on the face of the earth." Boyd-Franklin, a professor at the Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology (GSAPP), notes that the book, which contains doses of strong African-American family values and culture, was written "as a labor of love." Her husband and co-author is a professor of clinical psychology at City College of New York. The challenge, the therapists write, can be met by remembering the words of an Ashanti proverb: "You must act as if it is impossible to fail." Keeping this in mind, they contend, makes it possible for parents, the community and everyone concerned about black youth to "take them back from the streets, order their steps and set them on the right path to manhood." In straightforward, no-holds-barred talk, the authors address such challenges as helping young black men overcome racism, deal with sexual responsibility, understand the need for a good education, avoid drug and alcohol abuse, and use cultural and spiritual strengths to good advantage. They also offer advice on dealing with "gangsta rap," "hoop dreams" and gang violence, and discuss such issues as overcoming the fear of counseling and raising black kids in white schools and communities. "While many of the suggestions and material in the book could be helpful to any family raising teen-agers," notes Boyd-Franklin, "it is clear that there are special issues, which this groundbreaking book addresses, in raising African-American teen-age sons." For example, African-American parents are reminded to make their sons especially aware that racism can take many forms, including racial profiling on some of the nation's highways. Worried that their oldest son and his friends would be targeted for "DWB" (Driving While Black), the Franklins advised him that, when stopped by police, he should "not make any fast moves, keep his hands in view at all times, not talk back and call us as soon as possible." In dealing with racism, however, the authors feel that it is important for children to learn about individual responsibility and not adopt a victim mentality. "We do not want them using racism as an excuse for everything negative that happens to them. On the other hand, if they internalize the negative messages that they may encounter, they may begin to doubt or even hate themselves." For African-Americans young or old, "this constant process of second-guessing and personalizing every insult or assault can be exhausting and self-destructive," Boyd-Franklin adds. Placing strong emphasis on the important role of the African-American extended family in the raising of children, the book urges single parents of both genders to reach out to family members and seek help from other single parents and concerned individuals in the community. "Remember the African proverb: 'It takes a whole village to raise a child.' Look for and find that village," the psychologists advise. "Boys Into Men" addresses the concerns of a wide range of parents, including single parents, married couples, divorced parents, grandparents and extended family members, and covers urban families, suburban families and African-American families in predominantly white communities. Each chapter lists resources where parents, teachers and counselors can find additional information, including the names of organizations dealing with such topics as college preparation, learning disabilities, special programs for African-American students, sexuality and sexually transmitted diseases, drug and alcohol abuse, and counseling and therapy. "It is also a deeply spiritual book," Boyd-Franklin observes, citing the chapter headed by the Yoruba proverb: "No one can uproot the tree which God has planted." The chapter describes the extraordinary diversity among religious and spiritual beliefs in the African-American community. "A. J. and I wrote this book so that everyone could understand the deep and abiding spirituality that African-Americans use to cope with their fears, with racism, with raising kids and everything else." In addition to her work on "Boys Into Men," Boyd-Franklin has joined forces with GSAPP colleague Brenna Hafer Bry, professor of clinical psychology, to produce "Reaching Out in Family Therapy: Home-Based, School, and Community Interventions" (Guilford), published earlier this year. The book's goal is to help family therapists, psychologists, social workers and other mental-health professionals reach out to clients, particularly African-American and Latino families, "who in the past have been very difficult to connect with," Boyd-Franklin says. Challenges in parenting black males
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For questions or comments about this site, contact Greg Trevor Last Updated: May 30, 2006 © 2008 Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey. All rights reserved. 
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Keeping them alive past age twenty-five, given the rate of homicide
and violence among and against African American males